Day #296

For some reason, I woke up annoyed at nothing this morning.

Then I saw the snow.

That must be it.

On the plus side, I still can't think of a reason.

So I still do have that going for me.

Day #295

I've been thinking about what my reaction will be if I make it through the year that I promised this blog.

I don't think I'll tap a keg in any case that I can think of.

So there's that.

Day #294

The book seems to be the crutch that I'm using now, but the book talks about pessimism as useless and wasteful emotion. I would say the same thing about optimism, frankly.

What is, is.

What happens, happens.

Dealing with it is our only hope.

Day #293

Today the book talks about being worthy of the benefits of recovery.

I like to imagine that I'll see some in the future, but for now I merely have to settle for being alive.

So I do have that going for me...

Day #292

The bad news is that I can't think of anything to type today.

The good news is that I still can't think of a reason to drink today.

I'll have to leave it at that for now.

Day #291

The old saying that I've heard that reminds me of today's theme in the book is that the best time to plant the tree you want where you want it is 20 years ago.

It's a good thought but my mind is stuck in Ozymandias mode, unfortunately.

I do continue to try, though...

Day #290

I find it amusing that so many of the daily reflections in the book deal with noticing the little details that make life worthwhile...according to them.

The amusing thing to me is wondering what life would be like without noticing things like this.

I always have noticed a lot of things that are overlooked by a lot of people.

Granted, I've had trouble seeing things that are remarkably obvious and right in front of me, but that's my deal...

Day #289

It's amusing that the book tells the reader that only through destruction comes a new life.

I was tired of destruction so I stopped it.

Whatever happens after this is whatever happens.

As it always was and ever shall be...

Day #288

I've got to admit that some old triggers never seem to go away.

It's fortunate that I'm able to recognize them as triggers but in a way I always have recognized them. They would give me a purpose when that was an option.

Fortunately, I've been repurposed and it allows me to live.

Hopefully without any more brain-pops.

Those get annoying.

Day #287

Another day, another post.

On the plus side, another sober day.

So I've got that going for me, I guess.

Day #286

I'm really not sure what to type when I disagree wholeheartedly with the daily meditation in the book.

So I guess that's what I will type.

Oh, and still dry.

I should mention that...

(Bonus Note: I did notice that there are options to leave lists & such on the sidebar of the blog so I left the link to the book that I occasionally disagree with there.

Just letting you know!)

Day #285

Touchstones leads off with a Santayana quote:

Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament

I'm not quite sure what to make of that at this point.

To me, it seems almost defeatist, although it reflects my outlook more than I care to admit.

So that's my daily confusion at this point.

Not that it presents a problem or anything like that, but it does lead one to think about it a bit more than most days.

Day #284

I wasn't sure what to expect when I entered treatment, but I do have to say that I wasn't surprised.

It was a good thing, overall, because it gave me a break in the repetition that allowed me to start some new habits.

Of course, habitual becomes tedium after a while and I was prepared for that, at least.

So yes, I am still sober.

Day #283

Sundays are still easier than other days if only because the stores are closed...

That's all I've got today.

Day #282

It's late but it took a while to get through my trigger test of the day.

I headed over to a friend's cabin out in the middle of nowhere that I used to empty one of those fun-sized bottles on the way over to when that was the thing that I did.

Remarkably, I was able to drive the whole way over there today without any additional lubrication.

That would be a better way of doing it, I guess.

Day #281

I've been distracted by the changing forces of nature, lately.

Change truly is the only constant in this life and it's sad for me to see so many people trying to hold back, well, everything...

Believe it or not, still sober as I type that. Ha!

Day #280

Today in the Touchstone book there's a passage about how we don't need to create difficulties in our lives.

For some reason, I found that hilarious.

But, of course I would...

Day #279

All this talk of triggers makes me wonder just how wasted I would want to get after a whole night without any internet at work.

On the plus side, I'm still wondering.

That would be a good thing, I would think.

Day #278

According to the daily book I was given as I left treatment, any thought of moving past my old habits is swirling me back into the same habits.

Well, to hell with that.

I rationally live with my triggers on a daily basis and always will.

I have to.

Day #277

It seems to take a while to figure out what I'm going to type about here.

It's supposed to be simple.

I'm still sober and have been since this damn thing started.

Day #276

It almost feels like the daily update is becoming a chore. It's not, of course...

Right now I find it interesting that I'm now so close to my first year's anniversary of sobriety.

And it doesn't really do anything for me...

Day #275

Apologies to you for missing a post yesterday.

On the bright side, at least it was a mere fatigue reason for the miss.

There was pre-snow stuff to do, after all.

(I did toy with the idea of trying to sneak the Friday post in this morning but there's a reason I'm doing this blog the way that I'm do this blog this way.)

Day #273

Too much reading at night leads me to things like this:

In its essence life is monotonous. Happiness therefore depends on a reasonably thorough adaptation to life’s monotony. By making ourselves monotonous, we make ourselves equal to life. Thus we live to the full. And living to the full is to be happy.

Not that I mind it all that much, really.

Heck, you could even say that I enjoy it, somehow.

Day after day after day...

Day #272

Today's reflection revolves around forgiveness.

I can think of very few people that need my forgiveness.

That's a joke, y'see....

Day #271

Sober Vikings Bonus: I remember the game.

That was something I would have had trouble with by the end of a lot of games previously...

Day #270

I have spent a lot of my life knowing that things that I cannot control could be better.

I still believe I know that.

The frustration comes when people insist on acting like two-year-olds.

I've known since before I stopped drinking that a person has to learn to roll with it to a certain extent and only worry about those things that I have to worry about.

It's still fun to watch the idiot parade, however.

Day #269

Our life's a stage, a comedy: either learn to play and take it lightly, or bear its troubles patiently.
Palladas

These are the continuing thoughts of Earl, still sober after all this time.

These will continue, as well.

Day #268

Even though the weather sucks and that would have provided enough incentive to drink in previous years, at least there's stuff to do...

Day #267

There are a great number of things that annoy me at any one time, but it's getting easier to deal with that as the days roll by.

At least I'm actually dealing with those things instead of numbing myself to them as I used to do...

That's healthier.

Day #266

One thing that I have noticed is how old activities can take on new forms but retain the memories of the boozing.

Not that I really expect much of the previous statement to make sense to anyone, but I'm sure some of it does to a lot of people.

I guess this means 99 days left for this daily posting. I'm sure something will continue, but it may not be daily and it may get a different daily title at the very least.